the night before, the night before Christmas

There are many things I want to write about including my trip to the neighboring town, Rhinelander, where Lindsay and I counted 21 different people wearing Packer clothing during our quick trip in and out. But I write to you in the middle of a snowstorm, which is likely to deliver over a foot of snow when all is said and done. It is days like to today that really make me miss the North. In this picture Nate (Lindsay’s sister’s, Angela, boyfriend) and I bring up our catch, an 18 inch Walleye, from a good day of ice fishing. Today it took us 20 minutes to get to church because we had to battle the treacherous roads. I struggled to keep my hand from getting frost bite as I dipped my hand into a minnow bucket to bait our hook for the ice hole. And I love all of it.

Christmas Anyone Part 3

The last top ten Christmas list of the Holidays. Again the category is a bit ambiguous. I should have really done, “top ten carols” and “top ten carols by artist.” Anyhow I have merged the two lists to get this.


10. Happy Christmas- John Lennon …I almost didn’t put this one on here. I think it’s been over done, but that isn’t Lennon’s fault.

9. White Christmas – Bing Crosby …the song just invokes feelings of nostalgia and reminds me of great movies

8. Christmas Canon – Trans-Siberian Orchestra …kind of cheesy, but I really like this arrangement

7. Ave Marie- Harry Connick Jr., the best song on the CD

6. Wassail Song- Polar Express version played by the ghost on top of the train using the accordion…slow and beautiful…but unfortunately not available on the soundtrack

5. Silent Night - John Ondrasik…took me over a year to identify who this was, but the best version of the song I’ve ever heard.

4. Angels We Have Heard on High – David Crowder…initially didn’t like the change where he goes “glory on hiiiighhhhh” and kicks up the notes a few octaves…but has since grown on me

3. O Come Emmanuel – David Crowder …”rejoice, rejoice, rejoice,” like only Crowder can

2. Carol of the Bells – no preference…2nd best carol ever

1. O Holy Night – no preference… though many people attempt to cover this and butcher it, it is the best carol out there.

Christmas Anyone Part 2

Did my Christmas shopping today. I hate malls and busy stores. I survived though. As promised more top ten lists. This particular list is a bit ambiguous as I discovered researching movies. The official category is Christmas TV specials. I realize that some of these listed might be categorized as a movie, but they just feel a little different to me. Most if not all are either animated, claymation, or old-school-mated.


10. Shrek the Halls- Funny story…haven’t actually seen this. It deleted off of the Tivo before I could watch. Bah Humbug. I have to wait until next year. I’m sure though that anything with Shrek will be great!

9. Jack Frost- love the creative interplay in the relationship of Jack Frost and the Groundhog. The Villain in this movie is fantastic and the humor is there if you have a palate for it.

8. A Year Without Santa clause- Mostly I just love the Heat Miser and the Snow Miser. I think this inspired a recent real life version that is mildly good.

7. Santa Clause is Coming to Town- Great at answering the meta Santa Clause questions and you’ve got to love a movie that has a character named the Burgermeister Meisterburger.

6. A Muppet’s Christmas Carol - I think I listed this in the movie post, but I’m convinced it better belongs in this category. I haven’t seen it in some time, but Lindsay loves it, so I do too.

5. Frosty is coming to town/Frosty Returns/Frosty’s Winter Wonderland/The Legend of Frosty- Really just the first two, the second of which has John Goodman as the voice of Frosty and has environmentally concerned themes. Saw WWL for the first time this year, kind of lame Frosty gets married. The other (LOF) I haven’t actually seen. It was made in 2005 and Burt Reynolds narrates. Should be worth at least one watch.

4. Charlie Brown Christmas- Didn’t love this one as much until recently. This successfully uses national television to shovel the gospel of Luke down youngsters’ throats. It’s pretty amazing. It also has a Christmas special type half hour deal after the traditional Christmas Charlie Brown. Never saw this one, but really enjoyed it. In several different scenes, Linus makes astoundingly detailed comments about Biblical information. In one scene he even refers to himself as a “theologian.” Figures Charles Schultz is from MN…North…where all good Christian culture lives.

3. Mickey’s Christmas Carol/Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas/Mickey’s Twice Upon Christmas- I’ve done some research and discovered that the reason I haven’t seen this one in a few years is because for the last four PBS has had the rights to it. Anyhow it is the best rendtion of Chaz Dickens stuff. As for the other two. They are o.k. Pretty solid animation.


2. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas- If I had to see two shows every year growing up it was this one and the winner of the #1 slot. I think the only thing that keeps it from being number is that #1 seems to be a bit more historical.

1. Rudolf the Rednose Reindeer/Rudolf’s Shiny New Year- A dentist elf, a gold digger named Yukon, a lion who represents the misfits, a Humble Bumble who is redeemed and a Reindeer who saves the day!!! It doesn’t get better.

Christmas anyone

Some of you may or may not know that Christmas is my most favorite time of the year. This season has seemed slightly less fantastic. I’ve decided this is for two reasons. This is the first time my life has not come to a complete halt because I’m not just finishing up finals only to have nothing to do for an entire month. Secondly, this is the first time I’m doing Christmas with a kid…namely Roy, who I’ve come to discover takes away both from precious Charle’s Wysocki jigsaw puzzle time and also mindless and endless movie watching. This week I have rebelled against the busyness to do both. In the spirit of this, I have decided to post a couple of top ten lists. Tonight I post the top ten Christmas movies of all time.

10. Christmas With the Kranks- My mom is Jamie Lee Curtis in this movie

9. Love Actually- minus the porn couple…I love this movie

8. Christmas Story- the classic funny Christmas movie

7. Home Alone/Home Alone: New York- Something about both locations…Chicago and New York that I love

6. It’s a Wonderful Life- Jimmy Stewart is superb

5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Jim Carey)-mostly this is because I watch this movie the day after Thanksgiving to kick off the Holiday season

4. White Christmas- Bing Crosby’s singing is enough

3. Miracle on 34th St.- the best of the classic “believe in Santa Clause” movies

2. Christmas Vacation- Funny Funny Funny. Uses the best kind of humor…family dysfunction to make me laugh

1. Polar Express- I feel like I should have chosen something old for this but, the score is out of this world and the animation is impeccable.

honorable mention: Santa Clause, Santa Clause 2, Elf, A Muppet Christmas Carol

sacraments and justification

For some time now I’ve been struggling with the protestant view of justification. For the longest time it was just one of the words that I rattled off when participating in the Biblical language game. I didn’t really know what it meant. It was one of those words that when said next to a string of other overtly Pauline words quickly rendered the verse meaningless because too many of the words have meaning that needs to be unpacked. Let me give you an example of a fictional verse I’ll make up. “you have been justified through the propitiating atonement of the holiness of God’s righteousness imputed to you through the sanctifying holiness of the Zion one.” Huh? Me too.

Slowly though this word came alive. It came alive when I really started to investigate how or why I am saved. I’m justified in the eyes of God because of Jesus. A couple of months back Christianity Today let the cat out of the bag and let the rest of the Evangelical world know that there is a debate out on some of these key Pauline words…justification chief among them. They actually drew cartoon looking caricatures of three figures on each side of two pages as to pit them and their respective perspective on Paul and Pauline language. On the left side were the reformation figures Luther, Calvin and Beza (I think) and the other were those who represent the new perspective on Paul…namely E.P. Sanders, N.T. Wright and James D.G. Dunn (apparently initials are important in the new perspective). A perspective that I have found a breath of fresh air. The person from this school that I have taken particular interest in is Richard Hays of Duke whose work on the subjective/objective genitive construction pistis christou has been thought provoking.

Recently I stumbled onto the happenings of Baylor professor Francis Beckwith who converted back to his childhood faith of Catholicism. Part of the big deal about Beckwith is that he was the president of ETS, which is a group of Evangelical Theologians who wish they lived in a society where they could still burn people at the stake for believing the wrong things. In his blog post about why he went Catholic Beckwith writes:

The past four months have moved quickly for me and my wife. As you probably know, my work in philosophy, ethics, and theology has always been Catholic friendly, but I would have never predicted that I would return to the Church, for there seemed to me too many theological and ecclesiastical issues that appeared insurmountable. However, in January, at the suggestion of a dear friend, I began reading the Early Church Fathers as well as some of the more sophisticated works on justification by Catholic authors. I became convinced that the Early Church is more Catholic than Protestant and that the Catholic view of justification, correctly understood, is biblically and historically defensible. Even though I also believe that the Reformed view is biblically and historically defensible, I think the Catholic view has more explanatory power to account for both all the biblical texts on justification as well as the church’s historical understanding of salvation prior to the Reformation all the way back to the ancient church of the first few centuries.

At the end of this blog comments section, which is lengthy and full of angry protestants, Beckwith offers a pair of links both of which he says were compelling in his decision making process. One is from the Catechism and deals with grace and justification. I decided to take a peek given my recent convictions. I found it compelling. I agree with much of what is says, but have one notable hang up.

It states, “2014 Spiritual progress tends toward ever more intimate union with Christ. This union is called "mystical" because it participates in the mystery of Christ through the sacraments - "the holy mysteries" - and, in him, in the mystery of the Holy Trinity. God calls us all to this intimate union with him, even if the special graces or extraordinary signs of this mystical life are granted only to some for the sake of manifesting the gratuitous gift given to all.”

My hang up is with what I know they think the sacraments necessarily are. N.T. Wright restored my appreciation for sacraments, but I have a hard time believing that the God of the New Testament traps himself to dispensing grace through a church that is full of free willed men who screw it up all the time. I guess this is why the Donatist controversy has resurfaced as a significant for me. I believe in sacraments. But I believe that new and creative sacraments are found in our lives daily. The creative God of the New Testament finds all kinds of ways to make the “veil between heaven and earth seem especially thin” to borrow from Wright.

Here is where I depart from the Catechism. Like them I believe that spiritual progress tends toward intimate union with Christ and that this has big implications for soteriology. It’s just that I don’t believe this happens inside archaic buildings with people who are un-thoughtful about what they are really doing. It happens when a parent spends time with a child. It happens when an alcoholic says no to another drink. It happens when a band raises money for aids victims. It happens when someone lends a lawnmower to a neighbor. These are the means…the modes of salvation through we participate and progress towards intimate union with Christ.

they hate your porn

Two times ago when Donald Miller came to speak at Baylor he talked about, among other things, why the Islamic fundamentalists hate America. I’m guessing it was to sort of take a shot at the Republican Evangelicals that sort of embody the type of Christian he disdains, but Miller commented that Islamic fundamentalists do not hate America because we are trying to spread freedom…rather they hate us because of our porn. This like many things Miller says was a blanket statement giving a glance into what he sees to be a bigger problem. Most of the time I write Miller off because even if he is correct I think he is often rhetorical and misses the whole “lovingly challenge” or “lovingly correct/rebuke” part of grace. I’m not suggesting he’s a bad guy, in fact I think he’s pretty bright, but this rhetoric makes it hard for me to listen to him.

Anyhow recently I read this blog post posted by Greg Boyd. I notice two things about Greg. He uses the language of and really is the embodiment of the sort of Christianity that I have rebelled against. However, Greg has always struck me as intensely passionate and authentic, thus he’s never lost the right to speak into my life. I still read his blog and listen to his sermons. Recently he made the same point Miller makes. I thought his ideas were thought provoking. Here are two paragraphs from that post.

“Radical Islamic groups notice that America has a drastic morally corroding effect on every country it influences. This is undeniable. Our brand of capitalism is inextricably bound up with sexually explicit advertising, which they abhor. And we are by far the main exporter of sexually explicit entertainment around the globe.

Consequently, these groups associate the “freedom” America stands for and now claims it wants to export to the rest of the world with its debauchery. And they understandably want to stop this at all costs. So, in the name of Allah, they have declared war on “the great Satan.” (Of course, they also have many other reasons for identifying America as "Satan" as well -- but our promiscuity is one of the major ones).”

It’s strange to me that the people who send the soldier to fight the Islamic Fundamentalists and the Islamic Fundamentalists end up being strange bed fellows. Allow me to be general and grossly oversimplify positions. I think the belief that Americans are over there to spread freedom because freedom is a good thing is a Republican belief. I also believe that these republicans that are interested in the spread of democracy would probably be the same people who would also like to see not only the stopping of America’s continual decline on the slope of moral ambiguity, but also to see the stopping of this part of America’s effect on the rest of the world.

Too bad the two parties couldn’t understand this about each other. Perhaps they could refocus their efforts in a more peaceful way.

post game report

I’m with Collin Cowherd on this one. I think it is difficult to beat a competitive team twice in one year. So we will see the Cowboys in the playoffs hopefully.

I tempted to complain about the Al Harris interception that was stolen from us which led to us not having a third challenge to challenge the poor spot of the ball that led the Crosby field goal at the end of the game. And I’m tempted to complain about the my legs ran into yours pass interference call, but the Terrell Owens “let me give you the game sealing touchdown” interception makes up for all of that.

In the end the game seemed like one were the Packers were strangely close and really shouldn’t have been. They got outplayed in almost every element of the game, and Tony Romo really has emerged as the best thing to come out of Wisconsin in a long time.

Having said all that we need to talk about what is most important. Two words…Aaron Rogers. Holy Snikies!!! I was as pessimistic as anyone. The few glimpses I saw were like Joey Harrington on a bad day. And then last night happened. I suppose you feel guilty speculating about the career of Paul before Jesus had actually ascended, but let start whispering folks…The future looks a bit brighter in chilly Green Bay.

is the middle ok

Just a quick thought on this day before thanksgiving. Today I went to the movie “Enchanted.” I would lie and say that I was outnumbered by my sister-in-law and wife, but the truth is, that I’m a sucker for these kind of movies and in the end made the decision.

The middle, is that he best place? Moderation…really…in all things? I guess if I took one truth away from the movie it was this. The people from the enchanted land needed a good dose of reality. A good dose of anger, heartbreak and everything that is real about life. Conversely the people from reality needed a good dose of what seems to be enchanting. To be reminded that dreams do come true and that we are awoken from this slumber from what seems to be a divine kiss, and I can’t help but think that…that is just right.

Some days we wake up needing to be reminded that all isn’t ok and some days we need to be reminded that all is going to be o.k.

Casting call for new penguin movie

My wife recently landed some sweet deals at the gymboree, a piece of american capitalism that specializes in textiles for those who can't quite hold their own spoons. Among the 31 super saver deals (all for $.99 or less might I add) was this sleeper (not costume).

sorry about pictures two posts in a row...but let's be honest you enjoy pictures more than my writing.

the latest

here are some pics of chunk change

1. Halloween outfit from grandma
2. homecoming parade at baylor with mom
3. red outfits picture with dad
4. black and white red picture...the type of thing that would be posted on a wall in a gap store because Josh was famous for something like..."josh carney and son roy...re: inventor of the 'indie' image"

believing today

I’ve been thinking a lot about the question “what is the gospel” as is evidenced by a few of my recent posts.

I feel like I’ve given up on the epistemological (confess Jesus as your savior) leg. Not because it’s not true, but because it is the leg we’ve seen abused our whole lives. Like televangelists or even evangelists who just get you to confess that you believed a certain story line was true 2000 years ago. I like how my friend Lanny puts it. It’s about insurance and it is difficult to have a relationship with insurance.

The power and the notion of the epistemological leg has been redeemed for me recently. We hired a new ranger at work who has been a Christian for three years. He uses some of the language I despise, but something incredible happens when he tells me his conversion story. I’m deeply moved. I think I’m moved because though he uses some of the language I don’t like, I get that for him the language means something genuine deep within him. His words aren't coated with the baggage of the church. He describes or better yet has trouble describing the weeks or so before he decided to pray the prayer.

I ask the question about knowledge. “Was it really that you just didn’t understand the story of Jesus and someone told it to you and then a light bulb went off and you believed?” Knowledge is the problem, but it’s not propositional knowledge…it’s belief knowledge and the way that belief knowledge changes you. Empowers you from the inside. Stirs your soul.

He throws out these powerful lines like, “well I guess I started to read the Bible and I just couldn’t put it down…I don’t know why I couldn’t…I just couldn’t.” And I ask him, when you actually decided to pray the prayer did something happen? He hesitates, “yeah, this peace came over me.” So then my smart ass, and yet curious ass asks him that if he thinks he would have been saved had he died five seconds before he prayed the prayer and he gives a response that reminds me of what the faith used to be about before I spent years bogged down in seminary and theological questions, “I guess only God knows that.”

I like his story. I like it because he wrestled with this “decision” to become a Christian for weeks before he did it. I like because as awkward as it was, he and his believing mother sat down and prayed about how he was feeling when he started to think about becoming a Christian. I like his story because when I asked him about who he was before he was a Christian and he said, “well I guess I always believed in God, I just didn’t want to acknowledge Him because then I would have to admit there was a problem with me.”

I take that kind of statement and Romans seems alive for me again. I think my problem and it is problem I’m grateful for is that I grew up in Christian home knowing the power of believing knowledge my whole life. But perhaps I forgot or even don’t really know what it was like to struggle to believe and this is why my friends words are so enchanting.

Well I’m not sure this helped, but at least it’s out of my head. I can sleep now.

Popeye Sailor Man, Olive Oyl, Bluto and a very happy first Halloween

mnf

here we are talking about what Brett should do in these type situations

the mundane miracle

At the emergence conference, the last question the panel was asked was, “what hope does the emergent church have to offer.” “That is a puzzling question,” I thought to myself. The super spiritual me was thinking something like, “only Jesus really offers hope, we merely (trying to find the right word) sloppily participate in that hope…but I’m not sure we really offer it to anyone.”

The last thing I said, and this might be bold to speak on behalf a church community, is that we help people find beauty in mundane life of the Wendell Berry World. I read Jayber Crow some years back now and was struck by how both incredibly boring his life seemed and yet how incredibly sacred it seemed.

I just finished Anne Lamott’s book and I would argue that her book belongs to the canon of the emergent manifesto, though I’m not sure I can use that term since Doug Padgitt and Tony Jones edited a book called the Emregent Manifesto, but you know what I mean. Her work seems to be a cornerstone of identity for those who just can’t seem to find a home anywhere that even remotely smells of traditional.

On the cover the San Francisco Examiner and Chronicle remarks, “Anne Lamott is proof that a person can be both reverent and irreverent in the same lifetime. Sometimes eve in the same breath.”

We’d love to say that our lives are something like Frodo’s…that we participate in this almost transfinite narrative, but the truth is our lives are a lot more about changing dirty diapers, doing the laundry and attending funerals. They just don’t seem like Frodo’s, but they do seem a lot like Jayber Crow’s. And some nights when I tempted to long for Frodo’s story I think of Lamott who reminds me that there is incredible meaning in the dirty diapers, laundry and funerals. Almost can we say, transfinite meaning.

But still…I think about Jesus and I see leapers healed and food multiplied and surely that world must be more exciting than this one. Lamott’s life…my life are just a sequence of messy moments riddled by grace. God walking after us with a dirty dishrag soaked with sin. Then one day I notice the lens through which I see “miracle” has been refocused, and I realize that the changed heart and friend offering forgiveness truly are more miraculous than the cancer that was eradicated and the spine that was straightened.

I guess God’s interested in the mundane miracles.

Yesterday was one of those storybook days that reached an apex in our family’s venture outside to gather fallen pecans from our trees by the house. The pics are from this adventure. The weather was uncharacteristically 58ish with a crisp breeze and I found myself uttering a meaningful prayer in which I thanked God for the struggle to get warm. A rarity in Texas.

In Truett’s Spiritual Formation program we did a number of things including trying to learn to be thoughtful in our prayers and experience God through them. I remember one of our leaders in my second semester talking about “feeling the warmth of the water run down one’s back, as one soaked in the grace that can be a warm shower.” That’s how I felt in a real intentional moment yesterday when I paused to notice life seemed perfect in that present moment. There I was collecting pecans with my healthy son and beautiful wife outside a house that we somehow managed to purchase as a part time park ranger and full time teacher. I felt the cold kiss my skin. I caressed my son’s increasingly chubby cheeks. I tasted the fresh fallen pecans. And I gazed at my beautiful wife. I sensed grace there. There, where the veil between heaven and earth seemed especially thin.

Good

Michael Jordan has far and away been the best athlete I've witness play a sport in my lifetime. Tom Brady is making a case this year.

Emergence 2007 part 2

“There are multiple problems with King’s theology as well as Padgitt’s…the kingdom of God and not the cross of Jesus Christ stands at the center of the liberal theological system.”

Mark Driscoll in response to Doug Padgitt in Listening to the Voices of the Emergent Church, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2007), 145.

Robert Dugan makes fun of my overuse of the words “ontological” and “epistemological.” This is probably warranted, but my defense is that they are useful categories for understanding the relationship between many things in life including the “two legs” (to borrow a term that Doug Padgitt used this weekend) of soteriology.

I grew up with a one leg understanding. I know about the epistemological leg. The leg that rightly informs us that we need to confess Jesus as our savior in order to be saved. It is the leg that is steeped in Paul, knows all about justification by faith alone as well as Paul’s claim to know nothing but Christ and Him crucified.

But something happens. Children die around the world because of aids. Economic and social inequality widens in our communities. There is talk of water shortage around the world and food for everyone is a glaring problem. Suddenly I find myself engaging the social work students who sit across from me in my seminary class rooms and feel as though I haven’t really been embracing the whole picture of salvation.

Why does the whole creation long for redemption? Why is there no talk about belief in the sheep and goats passage? Why does Jesus spend so much time restoring if we all die in the end anyway?

I learned of my need for two legs…and so I discovered the ontological leg of salvation. The leg that has dire need of seeing salvation participate in the now. It’s the leg of salvation that asks you not just to receive something, but to participate in something. It is the leg that people stand on when who they have become is laid against the backdrop of God’s all consuming reality at the end of the Lewis’s The Last Battle.

The best thing I learned this weekend was this. Someone asked if we can separate Jesus from the Kingdom of God? I’m still not entirely sure what was meant by that, but Doug pointed out this verse in Acts 28:31 “proclaiming the kingdom of God and teaching about the Lord Jesus Christ with all boldness and without hindrance.”

In our journey towards God there is this beautiful interplay between taking one step on the epistemological leg and meditating on the person and work of Jesus and then letting that reality empower your stride with the alternative, ontological leg. The leg that participates in the Kingdom and experiences the KOG today and finds eternal life today.

My response to Marc Driscoll is that I understand the logical priority of the epistemological leg, but not the theological priority. Though the liberal protestants have pushed the ontological leg to the distorted forefront of the picture picture, I don’t think the right backlash is to pit the epistemological leg against and push for the priority of the same.

My thoughts.

Carney

Emergence 2007

This has been a whirlwind of a week including and primarily because of this weekend. Tuesday afternoon I got a call from Tony Jones asking me to consider filling in for Dan Kimball who’s father was in a freak accident and is nearing death. Dan was supposed to be one four panelist for the Emergence 2007 conference in Austin loosely based on his contribution to the book Listening to the Voices of the Emergent Church.

I took the invitation a bit intimidated by the rest of the panel who all have far more ministry experience and theological depth. Tonight was our first session which pinnacled in a discussion about atonement and the scripture. I’m definitely the little fish in the pond, but this experience has been rewarding and I have learned a lot. It has forced to me to be more thoughtful about certain theological issues and also helped me solidify my thinking in other areas.

I will report more…hopefully tomorrow evening.

Goodnight friends.

Please for Dan Kimball and his family.

American Idle

2008 world series for sale?

"get out the check book. A-Rod 50 million. Bonds 40 million. Japanese pitcher 55 million."

Disgruntled

Mike McCarthy is the worst coach in the history of the NFL

Green Bay Population 102,313

"the green bay packers organization is a model for all of the rest of professional sports."

keith olbermann
10-7-07 Sunday Night Football Preview

political prodigal takes test

My dad forwarded this to me and I found it very helpful. Made me think through what I really think about the issues and how I might cast a vote on them.

who would you vote for?

I've called myself moderate for four years, but have discovered that my top four choices were all jack-asses.

tony romo

Dear Dallas Texas,

You are welcome.

Wisconsin

happy half birfday

Roy's half birthday party with friends Macy Joy Shelton and Noel (some spice I can't pronounce) Fillingham. He got a ball and a big boy sippy cup. Life is good at six months.

The radical role of reconciliation...Rom 8:28

About two weeks ago my brother was walking his beagle in their neighborhood when suddenly his dog, Shiner, was attacked by a mutt. This was no stray like the ones lurking behind every trash dumpster in the alleys of Waco. This was a much-loved mutt by an elderly couple from a nice neighborhood. This mutt was estimated to be 125 lbs and did a number on my brother’s beagle. As soon as my brother was able to get his dog’s attacker off, he naturally picked up Shiner who instinctively bit at him and caught him just below the chin. So my frantic brother sprinted back to the house with a bloody chin and dog who had unimaginable damage done to his stomach at that point as far as anyone could tell countless damage to his internal organs.

At first, the conversations were fairly predictable from what I gather. The elderly couple, shocked by their dog’s behavior, apologized repeatedly and preempted any questions about liability with a promise to pay all medical bills. My brother and his family naturally worried were more concerned about their dog’s life and tabled those conversations for the time being.

As things settled down the good news poured in. Shiner is making a good recovery and the elderly couples homeowners insurance is going to cover everything and so my brother doesn’t have to worry about their dog’s medical bills sinking the elderly them.

My brother did have the conversation, not suggesting anything, but rather pointing out that it could have been a child. The mom of the mutt felt so bad about the incident that she became sick and lost sleep. Eventually the mutt’s dad called a vet friend for counsel and the couple made the incredibly difficult and brave decision to have the dog put to sleep.

My brother and his wife felt so bad about this that they took a basket full of goodies to console the couple. During Shiner’s initial recovery and before the couple put their dog down the man and his wife would repeatedly check on the status of Shiner expressing both deep concern and a desire to be accountable.

The miracle, the real miracle is that two families have allowed the situation to be touched by grace and the lens through which they have begun to see each other is not as dog attacker owner and dog attacked owner, but those victimized the messiness of life and those victimized by the messiness of life. Their conversations have continued and they have mourned with each other knocking down the natural barriers that try and build themselves up so we can wallow in self-pity of victimization.

It seems to me that grace was offered and grace was received and then grace was offered and grace was received. And that’s beautiful. And that, I suspect, is exactly how it’s supposed be.

Rom 10:17

Anne Lamott is one of those authors who is almost abused around UBC. You hear her name so much that you begin to believe that she has become overpopularized in a culture that prizes itself on finding hidden treasures in a pop culture. That way we can categorize what we are currently into as indie or pomo or emergent or whatever word is currently novel enough that it hasn’t become the vernacular of the larger pomo, indie, emergent crowd and thus useless.

Yesterday I was loading the pictures of Roy onto my computer for yesterdays post and I looked over to my left to the two remaining bookshelves that are filled with books that I deemed not good enough to be seen in my office. The ones I leave at home and tell people that “those are Lindsay’s books.” I was scanning the literature of “not quite good enough for Josh” and froze on Lamott’s book. I don’t think I would have given her a chance if it were not for Craig, who is most definitely her advocate even through all her popularizing. I’ve heard her compared to Miller, or actually Miller compared to her, and to be honest I thought Donald Miller’s book was mildly interesting at best. Yet in spite of all this and as one who has come to respect Craig’s reading suggestions I picked up the book.

I made my way through the first 55 pages and I can I say it is some of the most refreshing reading I’ve done in a while. Anne did a lot of things for me in these first 55 pages, but let me share this. I’ve been reading some books on atheism to get ready for a sermon and of particular interest to me has been the evolution discussion. Last night I watched a show on National Geographic called “Before the Dinosaurs,” in which they explore history over the last 450 million years. Taking in the emotional detachment of the prehistoric animals and their non-relational behavior I can’t help to feel that evolutionary history seems a bit crass and impersonal. And even if they didn’t get it completely right, there is still this reality in which the animal kingdom can be absolutely brutal to each other even within the last 6,000 years and often humans seem to be the epitome of this behavior. And so I begin to wonder and ask how things are to be processed if one maintains the worldview that there is no God. As one who can be overwhelmed and begin to change perspective when immersed in too much anyone thing I felt a lifeline thrown to me by Lamott.

She writes
“I didn’t go to the flea market the week of my abortion. I stayed home, and smoked dope and got drunk, and tried to write a little, and went for slow walks along the salt marsh with Pammy. On the seventh night, though, very drunk and just about to take a sleeping pill, I discovered that I was bleeding heavily. It did not stop over the next hour. I was going through a pad every fifteen minutes, and I thought I should call a doctor or Pammy, but I was so disgusted that I had gotten so drunk one week after an abortion that I just couldn’t wake someone up and ask for help. I kept on changing Kotex, and I got very sober very quickly. Several hours later, the blood stopped flowing, and I got in bed, shaky and sad and too wild to have another drink or take a sleeping pill. I had a cigarette and turned off the light. After a while, as I lay there, I became aware of someone with me, hunkered down in the corner, and I just assumed it was my father, whose presence I had felt over the years when I was frightened and alone. The feeling was so strong that I actually turned on the light for a moment to make sure no one was there—of course, there wasn’t. But after a while, in the dark again, I knew beyond any doubt that it was Jesus. I felt him as surely as I feel my dog lying nearby as I write this.”

Traveling Mercies p 49

Anne reminds me that this chaos and crass behavior is exactly what Jesus intends to redeem through recapitulated behavior.

Grace for today

Warmin' up for winter

Col 1:24

Every once in a while someone will ask me, “so how is it different being a dad?” The question has almost become cliché. Though most people who ask it are well-intentioned, hearing it so often, often elicits bland responses from me. This is not because my son is not the most wonderful thing in the world, and the mere thought of him doesn’t tickle something deep within me, but…well familiarity breeds contempt.

Craig has this good friend Jason. I had the privilege of meeting with both Craig and Jason a few times before he made his newest permanent resident in Dallas. For whatever reason Jason is the kind of guy who you just want to answer meaningfully. Recently Jason, whom I don’t even really know that well, posed this question to me. I’ve been thinking about it since then and here is how I would now respond.

The one way in which I really feel the experience of being a father acutely is when a story like the one I just heard makes the news. Hannah Mack, a six year old from Navarro Hills was sexually assaulted and hung in her garage yesterday morning. My son Roy has given me a new way of hearing tragedies like these. They aren’t merely another story. Somehow, scenarios that share features of commonality to our stories strike a deeper chord within us.

My sister-in-law recently e-mailed extended family with the news that after her friends took their 9 month old daughter to the E.R. because she was repeatedly banging her head to suggest that it hurt, learned the worst…that she has a form of blood leukemia. If she survives these next couple months then she begins years of difficult treatment.

I feel an intense burden to pray for families with children in these scenarios. This has not always been the case. In the past I would offer a few sentiments of semi-authentic sympathy throw up a quick prayer and move on to the pleasures of life.

I find myself thinking and praying about this girl often. I guess it’s because if this were true of Roy I would want the whole world to be praying. There’s grace in the participation in others sufferings. I pray God continues to give me means of empathy as powerful as my son.

Grace in sympathy

interesting for those of us who are confused

should the U.S. leave Iraq?

The September 9th post in case something else is posted.

Mr. Ham on a lazy saturday

Mr. Ham demonstrating his flexibility and ability to sit up.

well I don't know why, but for some reason the links list my blog address before the desired addresses.

here they are respectively.

www.clocktower74.blogspot.com
www.kylelake.com

Kyle Lake Foundation Golf Tournament: Waco

Craig has asked for support in this way and I'm glad to do it. Click here for details, or else here for the foundation webpage.

Evan Almighty

Yesterday Lindsay and I utilized our Labor Day off to go the dollar theatre. We went, in spite of all the negative reviews, to Evan Almighty. I try to be wary of mining movies for theological themes, but my resistance is fairly weak. The movie of course more readily lends itself to the theological themes because it is about a Bible story.

I don’t feel alone on my island of finding theological nuggets of truth in film because Roger Olson commented that he was pleasantly surprised by Bruce Almighty, this comment in reference to the overt theological Arminian tenet that the omnipotent God of the universe has decided the one thing he won’t do on a regular basis is manipulate libertarianly defined human freedom.

I found something in the movie yesterday that I thought was noteworthy. I’ve been reading Kyle’s book on prayer so this especially caught my ear.

The wife of Evan, who for the time being had abandoned him due to his commitment to participating in the faithfulness of God, is confronted by God played by Morgan Freeman in a conversation about prayer.

God reports that “When someone prays for courage I don’t give them courage, I give them the opportunity to be courageous. And when someone prays for patience I don’t give them the patience, I give them the opportunity to be patient. And when someone asks for their family to grow close together, I don’t make them close. I give them the chance to grow closer together.”

I guess what this got me thinking about is the intricate interplay between what want God to do for us and what we need to do for ourselves.

Many parts of life seem painful and we pray for them to go away…and understandably so I think. But we thrive on even desire bit of drama and or opposition in our lives. This is what makes them exciting and challenging worth participating in. This seems to be a bit of a conundrum to me.

Grace for the obstacles be they exciting.

2:30 and strange wonder

I think it is always a bit presumptuous to think that our metaphors, even those that we experience personally, give us a real understanding into the immanent nature of the trinity and other things that are really esoteric as far as we are concerned. And let me qualify my use of “real.” I do think metaphors do what they are supposed to in that they do shed light on some reality depicting analogous truth, but to know exhaustively and completely we cannot.

Having said that let me share my experience from last night. At about 2:30 I was awakened by the cry of my 5-month-old son. Half because the monitor volume was low I was feeling guilty because of the thought that he might have been crying for some time and half because of my 2:30 in the morning delirious behavior requires it, I shot out of bed and made my way to his room with haste. I picked him up, gave him his pacifier, and began to bounce him on the exercise ball.

He quickly ceased to cry and at the moment I was overtaken by the deep sense of satisfaction one feels when they are able to provide for a need of a child. Ironically I discovered that in giving a small bit of grace (can I call it that) I experienced a deep and profound moment of grace myself. And I dared to wonder what the Father must have experienced in offering us the excruciating remedy that he did.

convocation

Sunday evening I made my way over to the Ferrell Center to take in the freshmen convocation service. The real reason I went though was to hear Burt Burleson. This was my first experience hearing him outside of Kyle’s funeral, I’m going to try and make a point to hear him speak whenever he is outside of Dayspring on Sunday mornings.

He is like skating on butter. The mere sound of his very pastoral voice is like aloe applied to burned skin, soothing. I even think his voice might be my favorite southern one. I used to tell people that the reason Greg Boyd was the best preacher I’d ever heard was because he could somehow reach down into the deep places of your soul, pull out what was troubling you and hang it in front of your face so that you had to deal with it. He did this in a very passionate and often loud way. Burt did the same thing with a soft and poetic voice.

I guess they call his style narrative, and his youth pastor and my friend Chris advises me, Burt simply preaches a narrative as if he were going down a river and at critical points turns the direction with a slight bend in flow.

It was graceful.

long lost friends

For my waco readers this post will have little relevance. I have recently stumbled upon some old friends via facebook. I like to introduce new people who earn themselves links on my blog.

I recently told one of them, Brian, that these two are responsible half of my theological education. The comment was a bit tongue and cheek, but is not altogether untrue. I had the privilege of living with Brian my junior year and Ben my senior year and both of them labored many times into the wee hours of the morning fielding questions from a theological novice, then marketing major. As far as my experience at Bethel is concerned, these two along with the links to erik and morrow, both on the side of my blog, are responsible in large part for my theological development.

I think the really neat thing about both Ben and Brian is that though they come from entirely different convictions than I do concerning the faith, we found much in common and in the process of long conversations and severe disagreement I found grace in their answers and demeanors. More than any theological argument they ever offered me, the way they lived their lives offered a compelling apologetic for their case for God as they understand him. This I have never forgotten.

I'm glad to introduce Ben and Brian.

done

Yester afternoon I got home and found that in the mail I had received my diploma. It was curled up in a mailing tube ready to be put into a matt frame that would cost me $150 because it has the name Baylor on it, but which I probably won’t buy.

93 credit hours later I am finished. I get up each day without the impending reality of another project to be done or another book to be read. For the first time in 20 years I am free from academic tyranny.

I am officially master of the divine, so if anyone has any questions I’ll have the answers. Actually, I was thinking about this last night and realized that I’ve probably left seminary with more questions than I came in with. I wonder if that means the seminary did it’s job or if it means that it did not.

Well, it doesn’t seem to matter to me right now because this evening I will begin the second book that I’m not required to read since I’ve graduated. I think I’ll reread Kyle’s books and try and hear fresh what he has to say to me. Then after I feel like setting down the book I’ll watch t.v. without feeling guilty or perhaps I’ll find a house project to do. The best part is that it does not really matter.

Grace for today friends, grace for today.

P.S. I’ve often heard people talk about how they would “die to be back in school, because it is so much better than the work world.” Granted I love my current part time job, thus far I have found this hypothesis to be undoubtedly false. Though I absolutely loved my seminary education, I’ve decided with a little bit of diligence I can keep on learning by picking up a book here and there and being active in discussions with friends with similar backgrounds. The difference? No deadlines, papers, or pressure.

9

August 9th 1998 was the first time Lindsay and I went on a date. Today it has been 9 years since then. We were between our sophomore and junior years of high school. I was getting ready for what would turn out to be a poor season of Tomahawk football, while Lindsay began participating in a state bound cross country team.

I had used every excuse I could think of to get over to her house except for the obvious and honest one, namely I had somehow become completely enamored with her and that by merely being in her presence the world somehow seem a bit more magical.

We spent that day, August 9, 1998, water skiing and tubing behind her parents vintage and yet stellar Baja ski boat. Her then little sister, now preparing for her first year as teacher in Baldwin, Wisconsin, had a friend over and so the four of us took turns taking laps around Lake Nokomis.

That evening I hung around long enough to earn an invitation from her parents for dinner, which turned out to be some tasty grilled chicken breasts and a couple of side items. Trying not be awkward, we made our way above the patio the overhanging balcony and looking across the lake I asked her if she wanted to go mini-golfing, which Texans I have come to learn often call putt-putt golf.

We went and the rest is history. I remember the night well including my confessing that the reason she was beating me was because I couldn’t concentrate. Which as cheesy as it may seem for one high school sweetheart to say to another on their first date, was completely true. I was Cinderella at my proverbial ball. The fairy tale had just begun.

At moments like these, Lindsay and I do a fairly good job of reflecting. We frequently return to the question that goes something like this, “when we first started dating did you ever imagine that this…” “this” of course being the current chapter in this perfect story that we get to call our life.

Today after Lindsay got home she took some time to play with Roy. She evoked from him a laugh that I had not heard before, but that was so powerful that it disturbed my Thomas Merton reading. I set the book down grabbed the video camera and shot about a minute of footage. I listened to him laugh and for some reason the thought that crossed my mind, was that, Roy is our creation and that he is his own person with his own laugh. Roy is better than all the cars we will ever have, all the homes we will ever have or even the best jobs we will ever have. His presence in our life reaches down to the deepest parts my soul and elicits emotion in me that I did not know I had.

Tonight I got to bed thinking that I would have never dreamed of this in my wildest dreams…

grace for 9 years and God’s grace for 99 more

For Grandma's and Grandpa's up north

Providence for who?

Today my niece turned three. To celebrate, her dad took her to breakfast, then the whole family went to eat a picnic at Como Zoo and to take a quick trip through to see the animals.

This evening they were heading to my brother-in-law’s sister’s house to celebrate Calla’s and another in-law’s birthday conjointly.

As they got ready to leave, my sister ran back downstairs to grab the girl’s swimsuits, delaying their departure by about a minute.

Coming to a stop somewhere around Washington Ave about a block away from the bridge that collapsed this evening traffic came to a halt. Strangely, cars began turning around and heading the wrong way.

Tonight my family offers earnest and heartfelt prayers for what seems to be the grace of God. And I wonder what the prayers are of those six families who have confirmed losses thus far.

Tribune Picture

Two out of the last three weeks Roy and Lindsay have made the Tribune.

picture 20/71

Dobby house elf tears up costume contest and many other magical memories

Last night the Carney’s joined millions of American across the country to celebrate the release of the most creative piece of writing since Inklings laid their pens down.

It was a night full of fun and friends. We joined up with Robyn and Hannah Howard and Britt and Holly Duke and occasionally a not working, but really working Craig to fulfill all six House Cup challenges.

1. Honeydukes Jelly Bean guessing contest
2. create your own potions contest
3. quidditch toss
4. OWLS
5. Face Painting and
6. Pictures with Hagrid and Harry

There were several highlights to the evening including Hufflepuff’s House Cup victory, the house to which we all belonged, but far and away the most exciting moment was Roy Clemens' third place finish in the costume contest…awarded to him for his masquerading of Dobby the house elf. As a prize, Roy won a five dollar gift certificate to Hollywood Video, some Godiva Chocolate, and an official Minerva McGonagall Noble collection wand. A coveted item.


When asked what he would do with the winnings Roy told reporters, "give the chocolate to my mom, go see Ratatouille with the gift certificate, and finally work on discovering my potronus charm with the wand, which I predict will be a grizzly bear or maybe even Bear Grylls himself, cause I'm rugged ass just like my dad."

Roy was quite a hit as he posed for countless pictures for perfect strangers and might even make the photo album on the online Trib. if they create one.

Now for carving out time at the end of my summer semester to read about the conclusion of this saga.

On hell...unfortunately

We think about hell from time to time. I’m not sure that it is the one theological doctrine that we should be tied up in thinking about, but as someone shared on a special this last Friday on 20/20 about the topic hell, Dante’s Inferno has been read much more than Dante’s Paradise.

Flames and turmoil are what most of us were led to believe growing up. Anything that strays from this conception is usually condemned with a comment that goes something like, “you don’t believe in a literal hell?” usually fired by someone who is somewhere along the lines of conservative to moderate evangelical.

I wonder what is meant by literal? I suppose it has something to do with the middle of the earth and heat and flames. I get that. I really do. When I think about Adolf Hitler, I really think this is the place a guy like that should exist for a long time if not eternity. I don’t care what the depths of grace look like? I want that guy to spend some time thinking about what he did.

Here’s where I’m going with this. It’s not that I’m interested in deconstructing the traditional notion of hell. In fact, I think my official position is that it is a mystery described by metaphor in the New Testament and almost a non-existent idea in the Old. However, I’ll never forget what a professor said in class about the juxtaposition of emotional vs. physical pain in reference to hell. He said, “I’d rather cut hand off with a butter knife for the rest of my life than watch one of my children die.”

Tonight as we gave Roy a bath, I thought about this one boy, Matthew Carlson who died of cancer in the sixth grade. I was in eighth grade when he died and I don’t remember much about him, only the somber state of my dad when he returned form visiting him and his family the last couple months of his life.

Hell…I think it is often used a threat in evangelism. This is the place you’ll go if you don’t buy into the program of our Western Jesus. And then I think about the Muslim mother who has lost all her children to the ravage state of reality we call war. I wonder if the hell we postulate poses much of a threat to her anymore.

There is this one scene in the movie Troy, where Hector’s dad comes to plea for the body of his recently killed son at the hands of his son’s killer who happens to be Achilles. Achilles is quick to point out the state of affairs for the king…he, the king of Troy, could be easily be killed given the circumstances. But in the reality of the agony of the situation the king points out that the threat of death has no sway over him.

I think it must seem strange to some who a presented with the gospel. “If you don’t accept Jesus you’ll go to hell.” I wonder how different that would be from how they are living now?

Grace for all of us, for now.

And Heaven Came...

Dear Waco,

You are welcome that Brett Favre came to you to sign autographs. The only way this could have possibly been better is if Jesus Christ himself would have showed up to sign autographs or perform miracles...probably the latter as he might have found the former idolatrous.

Anyhow, for those of you who don't know, Brett Favre came to Waco this weekend to promote Young Champions, a facility that will provide and promote a place for kids to work out. The first 500 to sign their kids up for a memberships were granted a Favre photo which he was guaranteed to sign. Additional fans could stand in a lotto line for a chance to meet Brett and get his autograph. That is what we did.

I got a little nervous as we approached, but my heart was quickly put at ease as Brett and I had an existential moment where our hearts beat as a Wisconsin one. I shook his hand handed him a cheesehead to autograph and we got our picture taken.

I lived in Wisconsin for 18 years and have been a Favre fan for about 15 of those. Define irony my son is 3 1/2 months old and he meets him in Waco, TX.

sorry about the first picture. Turn your computer or head sideways to fully enjoy.

oops

I've been messing with some customize settings and in the process screwed up my blog template. I had to reset it and lost all my personal links. Don't be offended if you are gone, which all of you are. I've meaning to do a makeover anyhow.

Be back together soon.

Done Reading

I have fought the fight, I have run the race. This week I finished my last ever required reading text for Truett Seminary. The Lucky winner, Richard Hays’s The Faith of Jesus Christ: The Narrative Substructure of Galatians 3:1-4:11.

I can feel the end. I can see the finish line.

The sun still shines on luddites…

As most of you know I spent this last week revisiting bachelorhood as my lovely wife and son made their way up to the holy land. For 8 whole days I spent my time in Waco as the sum total of the Carneys.

I sadly dropped off my wife and son last Friday to begin not only my first time away from Roy, but also the longest streak my wife and I would spend apart since we got married. On my way back to Waco I was quickly cheered up by the new reality I would find awaiting me when I got back home. I slept in my bed with the fan on high all week and no covers whatsoever. I also was able to allocate half the grocery budget for beer and other essentials. Needles to say I quickly found myself back in 2004.

As part of my wife’s absence I embraced the luddite lifestyle. Well not really, but she did take our now only cell phone and I committed to riding my bike to as many events and places as possible to minimize the use of our cars… being that I did not have to haul around a car seat and the 13 lbs that is the hunk of burning love…Roy. I did so fairly successfully using my car to drive only to places like Jen’s and the Dugan’s pool and when it was advantageous for Craig and I to travel together. This is quite an accomplishment given the week-long inclement weather patterns of central Texas of late.

On Monday, in the spirit of bachelorhood, I accepted the sympathetic “poor alone Josh” invitation to my friends the Fillinghams to enjoy an evening meal. They live by Mountainview Elementary School. As part of my journey towards their house I rode by Hillcrest Baptist Hospital. I came from 30th and Colcord and so pulled up to the hospital from the east side. As I approached I looked into the window on the second floor and a big smile found itself on my face. That was the room Roy Clemens Carney was born in.

I felt a sudden sense of sadness as the mild pain of missing my dear wife and child become acute. I began thinking about March 20th, 2007 and in an unusual moment of literary genius I realized that the situation lent itself to a triple entendre. That day the Son rose on my wife and I in a unique way.

This morning the Carneys arrived at home at about 1:15 A.M. Roy, frustrated by an odd day of travel, chose to exercise his lungs for a few minutes as we laid him down in his crib. Out of sympathy, but really because I was looking for an excuse to do so, I picked up my crying son and begin to bounce him on the exercise ball at 1:30 A.M. Tired, I closed my eyes and began to review a week of bachelorhood. A few minutes later I looked down to see Roy had fallen asleep. I set him down made my way through earlier clean living room now covered by the mess of unpacked travel items. I laid down next to my wife who asked for the comforter because our room was simply too cold. I got up, got the comforter and plopped back down now officially done with the comparative living experience situation.

The last few thoughts that run through my head...

“This, This, This…the grass has never been greener right beneath my feet.”

It’s just a fairy tale…

I had one of the more interesting conversations I’ve had in a long time this evening. I was honored to be invited to Anna Danger Hering’s surprise birthday, and over some tasty fish and chips met a Baylor student apparently disenchanted with political religious system offered by America’s largest evangelical mega-university.

The conversation picked up when he heard me throwing in my two cents about nationalized health care.

“I’ll tell you what the solution is…”

My new friend went on to explain a political philosophy that reflects the thinking of Daniel Quinn, something entirely new for me. Intrigued, I listened asking more questions than he probably cared to answer, not a surprise for those of you who hang out with me a semi regular basis.

As hard as I consciously try to not sound explicitly evangelical in my presuppositions and questioning I’m sure I somewhat failed as I launched question after question clothed in the dress of politically correct and often vague form.

Somehow we got to some of the more explicit questions I often wonder about when thinking about major worldviews and political philosophies.

“You know, Jesus didn’t need health insurance.”

“Yeah, but the people Jesus healed still died,” mark the shark walldrop fires back.

“It’s true!” here is my chance…he’s given me a glimmer of supernatural recognition. The Cosmological argument seems to have a little pull with him…sometimes that’s enough of a doorway for the mystical to fit through…so I question

“What do you make of that whole resurrection business?”

As matter of fact and almost in a tone of sympathy that understands the magnitude of his response’s effect on me, “Just a fairy tale man.”

Initially I think of Lewis. “It’s simply the true myth.” Lewis understood that the story was so bizarre that it properly belonged to the genre of myth, regardless of its truth-value.

And then it hits me. I feel 25 years of the investment of my mind rumble around in my head. Here’s a guy who actually doesn’t believe it happened. Not really novel. I grew up in the north were Jesus is about as popular as he is in Europe. Unbelief is the norm. Yet for some reason tonight, his response hits me hard.

“Fairy tale,” that’s the category the story of Jesus Christ is allotted for those who believe he didn’t rise from the dead.

Were about 48 inches from each other, across the table in restaurant in Waco they call The Elite Bar and Grill and somehow I feel like our souls are 50 million light years apart.

It’s not judgment. I like the guy…I owe him gratitude. But for the first time in a long time I recognize that amidst a journey plagued with doubt…

”I believe!”


I believe because I encounter unbelief, and am able to recognize the deep existential incongruity between us. “I believe,” and I have my Daniel Quinn political philosophizing friend to thank for it.

I found grace today. I hope he did too.

5 things about Jesus

I’ve been tagged by my friend and theological superior, Emily. I’m not exactly sure how to do all the things required, but I’ll try my best.

I share five things I dig about Jesus (the purpose of this particular tag)…

1. He was seemingly idiosyncratic in his interpretation of the law revealing, I think, the complexity and beauty of life.
2. He told some to sell everything and for others it was o.k. to sell half of what they had and restore from those they had stolen four-fold. To me this means Jesus is neither liberal or conservative, but rather the type of guy who would challenge you exactly the way you needed to be challenged to grow.
3. He was resurrected, which as I get older and experience death through loved ones, becomes more and more the one miracle I need to be absolutely true.
4. He gave people like Pete second chances
5. He in the business of restoring the type of people found in Flannery O’Connor’s short stories.

My tags

1. Craig
2. Candace
3. Ashley
4. Harris
5. Erik

Hope this works out

Carney

Allie Hewson

Driving down the highway or is it the autobahn? She can’t remember and she doesn’t seem to care. “45 years of this shit! When’s it going to end,”… “I just want to be normal tonight, I want to go spend time with my grandchildren,” she thinks to herself.

Still she submits to the highway hypnosis and keeps driving. Eventually she approaches Berlin. “Berlin,”…“I remember how many nights it stole from me,” anger rising within herself, “too many.” I just want to see my grandchildren, she reminds herself. "Enough of this benefit crap. Africa will go on,”…”I wish history would find another hero.”

The city lights become brighter and brighter, but anger has the best of her and she fails to notice. She approaches the first stoplight, but she is unaware. Red….Red….Red…Red…it’s the color of the writing on all those damn t-shirts. Suddenly she awakens…”it’s the color of stop!!!”

“Shit” it’s too late. The only thing that seems redeeming in the moment is her honest thought of recognition of her need of grace…even now. But it is too late.

She pulls up not in the car she was just driving, but rather in the honest nakedness of herself. Suddenly she is confronted. Not by anything, but by someone.

Somehow she recognizes the truth. It’s David Copperfield. How could she possibly know David Copperfield? He was just a character. The stranger reality about this new place is that all epistemological bets are off. They, David and her, have a strange sense of parachoresis and somehow both her and David Copperfield recognize each other.

David speaks…”come try on this well deserved crown.” She is apprehensive, yet slowly she approaches. She bows her head while Coppefield places the crown upon her head. It’s awkwardly heavy at first, but then she finds the strength to lift her head high enough to look David in the face. Then she realizes the irony of the situation. The irony of grace. It’s David’s crown.

“I can’t wear thi”…,but before she can complete the thought she is strangely surprised by her sudden immediate and supernatural strength. Her neck is miraculously strong enough to hold this crown up.

“How?” is the only question to be asked. “How can she hold this crown up?” she wonders, but this same strange sense of parachoresis delivers the answer in an unprecedented way. No words required, just this deep sense of profound understanding. Not just understanding of this is how it is, but understanding that reveals this is exactly how it should be because He has willed it be so from all eternity.

“this can’t be right,” she thinks toward Copperfield. He looks her back in the eye knowing exactly why she is feeling this way. All she spent her time doing was “Chernobyl” she reminds Copperfield. His thoughts come back to her, “But it was not just Chernobyl,”…”it was gracefully standing beside a superstar for 45 years. There’s the real unprecedented strength found uniquely and sparsely throughout human history!” “Because of your patience and your sacrifice, my kingdom found it’s way into the 21st C.”

Recognizing her feeling of ineptitude Copperfield escorts her into her the realm of her company. Company…a metaphor seems to be the only thing left powerful enough in the world of epistemology to make sense of all this. There she sees them. James son of Alphaeus, Thaddaeus, Bartholomew, Itzhak Stern, Scottie Pippin, Sam Gamgee, and the boy who shined shoes in all those redemptive novels.

Below her she sees Peter, Paul and Mary. Above her she sees only the glory, but the propensity to judge and compare is gone. It has no place here. All is equal under the shadow of the almighty.

Reflections on Fathers Day

The Bible carefully offers us metaphors from time to time. Two of them are relational. They are Christ’s relationship to the church described in terms of Bride/Bridegroom and God’s relationship to Jesus as Father/Son.

I really hated Song of Solomon when I was growing up. Especially when girls in our youth group talked about being enamored by belonging to the groom. “Gag me” I thought to myself. Not only do I hate romance, but now the Bible is asking me to participate in this metaphorical relationship from the sappy/estrogen side.

Eventually I got married and this metaphor came alive for me. I was able to move beyond the literal level of the metaphor and move into an understanding of a wee bit deeper existential profoundness.

As for the other metaphor, well I guess I’m qualified to throw my noetic lot in the realm of comprehension on the Father/Son metaphor. As I was trying to fall asleep last night I was pondering this one. As my first fathers day came to a close I realized just how different God and I are. He sent His son to bear the sins of the world. I silently confessed to myself that I'd send the whole world to hell before I’d let my son be crucified unjustly.

Grace for now


Roy's present for me.


Roy and I in matching C.S. Lewis outfits. Nerdy professor cardigan, khakis, and a t-shirt. Notice our favorite Lewis works.

We've all done it. "God I really need to hear from you." So we crack open the Bible flipping through, hoping that the place where we end up is magically going to be a "word from the Lord."

My experience tells me that God in His freedom won't be manipulated by such tasks. Rather I think that He prefers that I get to know what is actually in the Bible and drawing from a wealth of knowledge that I've stored away through years of hard study, the Holy Spirit can then take something and bring it to remembrance in difficult times or good times.

I am old fashioned enough to believe that this works. Last night was one of those wrestles nights for me. Thus I woke up early and paged through my Bible and was impressed upon by lengthy Psalm 131.

The second verse seems especially alive to me.

1 O Lord, my heart is not lifted up,
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvellous for me.
2 But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.*


3 O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time on and for evermore.

grace for now