Dear Roy

Dear Roy,

I write to you on eve before you are born. I suppose I should say something profound like “I am who I am,” or “I came to give my life as a ransom for many,” but I’m not God, just your dad.

I did think I would share this with you though. This has been one of the hardest things for me to learn, that is trusting God with my money. I’ve gotten pretty good about writing my monthly tithe check, and we support a compassion kid. But to tell you the truth Roy, sometimes it feels mechanical, like another bill. I can’t say it has ever been really difficult, because as long as I’ve been alive I’ve always had enough and so was never in between a rock and a hard place when it came to giving. Close, but not real close.

I don’t mind giving. I don’t think I do it grudgingly, but I don’t think I do it cheerfully either. I think I just do it, and by the grace of God I’ve always had something to give. I need to work on this Roy. So one of my prayers for you is that you will experience the joy of giving and that it will plague your life.

Let me give you an example of how God takes care of us. Tonight your mom and I went looking for a changing table for you. It is the last thing that we didn’t have for you. It’s not a necessity, but still nice to have. So we went to Toys’r’us and no luck. Then to the baby Depot and no luck. Our last stop to Big Lots to check out a discounted table that your mom found earlier today.

Before we made it there though we went to Barnes and Noble, so that I could buy you a birthday present. I didn’t think it was a good idea because I’m tight on the budget and being the guy who worries about the budget, which you will eventually come to learn, I didn’t have the money allocated for your present. But I figured you are only born once so I broke down and bought you “The Giving Tree.” The deep existential significance of which you will learn at a later date.

On to Big Lots.

In the back of the store on the bottom shelf sat your changing table. The box was opened and we had to dig to find all the pieces. Your mother told me to bargain for a deal. The box listed the table at $35. This was good because I allocated a cheap $40 in my mind for your last minute table shopping. Apprehensively I asked for the manager to bargain for a cheap price on an already discounted table. She made her way to the back of the store and much to my surprise looked at it for a minute and said…”how about $15.” Being a guy I slyly responded, “Yeah, I guess we could do fifteen.” In my head though I was immediately thinking about how I purchased your present and a changing table for under the price I had originally allocated for the table alone. This might be telling of how nerdy I am, but this is the sort of thing I get excited about…saving money.

Roy, there are several ways to understand this story. Some might call it luck. Some call it fate. We like to think of it as grace. No I don’t think that God went ahead of us and convinced the lady to mark down the price. And no I don’t think that because we give. God gives to us. That actually isn’t grace at all. I do think that God provides for us and that giving is important. I can’t draw the lines of cause and effect because they aren’t in the bible, but I do think both are important and I hope you find joy in both God’s provision and in personal giving.

see you tomorrow,
love dad