Dear Jesus,
I’ve been thinking about why it is hard for me to follow you. Why I am reluctant to join in Molmann’s solidarity, Brueggemann’s prophetic imagination or Volf’s self-donation. I know these are excuses, but at least I’m being honest.
1. You didn’t need health insurance. Either one of two things seems to be true about your life. You could just heal yourself not with a couple of vitamin C’s, but rather with a quick “be healed.” Or you had some good reason for enduring the pain and knew it wasn’t time to call down the help of 1,000 angels. You didn’t have to allocate 300 Caesar coins a month for health insurance. That’s more money for the poor.
2. You didn’t need groceries. If you got hungry, you could just steel a sucker from a baby and make 5,000 suckers out of that one sucker. Or you could just throw a net into the Brazos and pull in 1,000 fish. You never worried about making it down to H.E.B. that’s another way to save money and give to the poor.
3. People just gave you donkeys to ride and the state of Jerusalem didn’t require insurance on donkeys. That’s more money to give to the poor.
4. Though Dan Brown was riveting in his writing, I have a felling you didn’t marry Mary Magdalene. If someone broke into my house, I’d love to turn the other cheek if I had the guts, but I’m afraid I’d fear for the life of my child and wife. I’d probably try and hit them in the legs with a baseball bat.
These are just some of my thoughts. Help my lack of faithfulness unto obedience.
Carney
1 comment:
Dearly beloved Yeshua (inside joke, my son):
1)It was SO handy to have Luke around, you have no idea. But I resent the fact that you think I just willy nilly could have healed myself (reminds me of that guy at the cross that day...sheesh. Give a God a break).
2)What is the Brazos? I don't speak Spanish, forgive my ignorance. Look at the picture - do I LOOK hispanic? I don't think so. I'm European, bro, like you and every other red-blooded American. But to your point, you'll have to check out my self-help tips in the NT (I prefer the King James Version myself) - there are loads of tips. Clue: Have greater faith. (Btw, I WAS "the poor" - and I didn't get any tax breaks from the government on my non-existent residence either, thanks to that byatch Caesar.
3)I also didn't have air conditioning either. It was hotter than hell riding around on that bouncy ole' jackass (no shocks either, hmm?).
4)That crazy Dan Brown! Everyone knew that Ho was too needy to marry. Can you imagine the life I woulda had if I'd tied the sandal with her? And, lastly, about your tactics if someone breaks in your crib? Try a whip, screaming at the top of your lungs and turning things over - worked for me.
May I bless you,
Jesus H. Christ
Post a Comment