Tribune Picture

Two out of the last three weeks Roy and Lindsay have made the Tribune.

picture 20/71

Dobby house elf tears up costume contest and many other magical memories

Last night the Carney’s joined millions of American across the country to celebrate the release of the most creative piece of writing since Inklings laid their pens down.

It was a night full of fun and friends. We joined up with Robyn and Hannah Howard and Britt and Holly Duke and occasionally a not working, but really working Craig to fulfill all six House Cup challenges.

1. Honeydukes Jelly Bean guessing contest
2. create your own potions contest
3. quidditch toss
4. OWLS
5. Face Painting and
6. Pictures with Hagrid and Harry

There were several highlights to the evening including Hufflepuff’s House Cup victory, the house to which we all belonged, but far and away the most exciting moment was Roy Clemens' third place finish in the costume contest…awarded to him for his masquerading of Dobby the house elf. As a prize, Roy won a five dollar gift certificate to Hollywood Video, some Godiva Chocolate, and an official Minerva McGonagall Noble collection wand. A coveted item.


When asked what he would do with the winnings Roy told reporters, "give the chocolate to my mom, go see Ratatouille with the gift certificate, and finally work on discovering my potronus charm with the wand, which I predict will be a grizzly bear or maybe even Bear Grylls himself, cause I'm rugged ass just like my dad."

Roy was quite a hit as he posed for countless pictures for perfect strangers and might even make the photo album on the online Trib. if they create one.

Now for carving out time at the end of my summer semester to read about the conclusion of this saga.

On hell...unfortunately

We think about hell from time to time. I’m not sure that it is the one theological doctrine that we should be tied up in thinking about, but as someone shared on a special this last Friday on 20/20 about the topic hell, Dante’s Inferno has been read much more than Dante’s Paradise.

Flames and turmoil are what most of us were led to believe growing up. Anything that strays from this conception is usually condemned with a comment that goes something like, “you don’t believe in a literal hell?” usually fired by someone who is somewhere along the lines of conservative to moderate evangelical.

I wonder what is meant by literal? I suppose it has something to do with the middle of the earth and heat and flames. I get that. I really do. When I think about Adolf Hitler, I really think this is the place a guy like that should exist for a long time if not eternity. I don’t care what the depths of grace look like? I want that guy to spend some time thinking about what he did.

Here’s where I’m going with this. It’s not that I’m interested in deconstructing the traditional notion of hell. In fact, I think my official position is that it is a mystery described by metaphor in the New Testament and almost a non-existent idea in the Old. However, I’ll never forget what a professor said in class about the juxtaposition of emotional vs. physical pain in reference to hell. He said, “I’d rather cut hand off with a butter knife for the rest of my life than watch one of my children die.”

Tonight as we gave Roy a bath, I thought about this one boy, Matthew Carlson who died of cancer in the sixth grade. I was in eighth grade when he died and I don’t remember much about him, only the somber state of my dad when he returned form visiting him and his family the last couple months of his life.

Hell…I think it is often used a threat in evangelism. This is the place you’ll go if you don’t buy into the program of our Western Jesus. And then I think about the Muslim mother who has lost all her children to the ravage state of reality we call war. I wonder if the hell we postulate poses much of a threat to her anymore.

There is this one scene in the movie Troy, where Hector’s dad comes to plea for the body of his recently killed son at the hands of his son’s killer who happens to be Achilles. Achilles is quick to point out the state of affairs for the king…he, the king of Troy, could be easily be killed given the circumstances. But in the reality of the agony of the situation the king points out that the threat of death has no sway over him.

I think it must seem strange to some who a presented with the gospel. “If you don’t accept Jesus you’ll go to hell.” I wonder how different that would be from how they are living now?

Grace for all of us, for now.

And Heaven Came...

Dear Waco,

You are welcome that Brett Favre came to you to sign autographs. The only way this could have possibly been better is if Jesus Christ himself would have showed up to sign autographs or perform miracles...probably the latter as he might have found the former idolatrous.

Anyhow, for those of you who don't know, Brett Favre came to Waco this weekend to promote Young Champions, a facility that will provide and promote a place for kids to work out. The first 500 to sign their kids up for a memberships were granted a Favre photo which he was guaranteed to sign. Additional fans could stand in a lotto line for a chance to meet Brett and get his autograph. That is what we did.

I got a little nervous as we approached, but my heart was quickly put at ease as Brett and I had an existential moment where our hearts beat as a Wisconsin one. I shook his hand handed him a cheesehead to autograph and we got our picture taken.

I lived in Wisconsin for 18 years and have been a Favre fan for about 15 of those. Define irony my son is 3 1/2 months old and he meets him in Waco, TX.

sorry about the first picture. Turn your computer or head sideways to fully enjoy.

oops

I've been messing with some customize settings and in the process screwed up my blog template. I had to reset it and lost all my personal links. Don't be offended if you are gone, which all of you are. I've meaning to do a makeover anyhow.

Be back together soon.

Done Reading

I have fought the fight, I have run the race. This week I finished my last ever required reading text for Truett Seminary. The Lucky winner, Richard Hays’s The Faith of Jesus Christ: The Narrative Substructure of Galatians 3:1-4:11.

I can feel the end. I can see the finish line.

The sun still shines on luddites…

As most of you know I spent this last week revisiting bachelorhood as my lovely wife and son made their way up to the holy land. For 8 whole days I spent my time in Waco as the sum total of the Carneys.

I sadly dropped off my wife and son last Friday to begin not only my first time away from Roy, but also the longest streak my wife and I would spend apart since we got married. On my way back to Waco I was quickly cheered up by the new reality I would find awaiting me when I got back home. I slept in my bed with the fan on high all week and no covers whatsoever. I also was able to allocate half the grocery budget for beer and other essentials. Needles to say I quickly found myself back in 2004.

As part of my wife’s absence I embraced the luddite lifestyle. Well not really, but she did take our now only cell phone and I committed to riding my bike to as many events and places as possible to minimize the use of our cars… being that I did not have to haul around a car seat and the 13 lbs that is the hunk of burning love…Roy. I did so fairly successfully using my car to drive only to places like Jen’s and the Dugan’s pool and when it was advantageous for Craig and I to travel together. This is quite an accomplishment given the week-long inclement weather patterns of central Texas of late.

On Monday, in the spirit of bachelorhood, I accepted the sympathetic “poor alone Josh” invitation to my friends the Fillinghams to enjoy an evening meal. They live by Mountainview Elementary School. As part of my journey towards their house I rode by Hillcrest Baptist Hospital. I came from 30th and Colcord and so pulled up to the hospital from the east side. As I approached I looked into the window on the second floor and a big smile found itself on my face. That was the room Roy Clemens Carney was born in.

I felt a sudden sense of sadness as the mild pain of missing my dear wife and child become acute. I began thinking about March 20th, 2007 and in an unusual moment of literary genius I realized that the situation lent itself to a triple entendre. That day the Son rose on my wife and I in a unique way.

This morning the Carneys arrived at home at about 1:15 A.M. Roy, frustrated by an odd day of travel, chose to exercise his lungs for a few minutes as we laid him down in his crib. Out of sympathy, but really because I was looking for an excuse to do so, I picked up my crying son and begin to bounce him on the exercise ball at 1:30 A.M. Tired, I closed my eyes and began to review a week of bachelorhood. A few minutes later I looked down to see Roy had fallen asleep. I set him down made my way through earlier clean living room now covered by the mess of unpacked travel items. I laid down next to my wife who asked for the comforter because our room was simply too cold. I got up, got the comforter and plopped back down now officially done with the comparative living experience situation.

The last few thoughts that run through my head...

“This, This, This…the grass has never been greener right beneath my feet.”

It’s just a fairy tale…

I had one of the more interesting conversations I’ve had in a long time this evening. I was honored to be invited to Anna Danger Hering’s surprise birthday, and over some tasty fish and chips met a Baylor student apparently disenchanted with political religious system offered by America’s largest evangelical mega-university.

The conversation picked up when he heard me throwing in my two cents about nationalized health care.

“I’ll tell you what the solution is…”

My new friend went on to explain a political philosophy that reflects the thinking of Daniel Quinn, something entirely new for me. Intrigued, I listened asking more questions than he probably cared to answer, not a surprise for those of you who hang out with me a semi regular basis.

As hard as I consciously try to not sound explicitly evangelical in my presuppositions and questioning I’m sure I somewhat failed as I launched question after question clothed in the dress of politically correct and often vague form.

Somehow we got to some of the more explicit questions I often wonder about when thinking about major worldviews and political philosophies.

“You know, Jesus didn’t need health insurance.”

“Yeah, but the people Jesus healed still died,” mark the shark walldrop fires back.

“It’s true!” here is my chance…he’s given me a glimmer of supernatural recognition. The Cosmological argument seems to have a little pull with him…sometimes that’s enough of a doorway for the mystical to fit through…so I question

“What do you make of that whole resurrection business?”

As matter of fact and almost in a tone of sympathy that understands the magnitude of his response’s effect on me, “Just a fairy tale man.”

Initially I think of Lewis. “It’s simply the true myth.” Lewis understood that the story was so bizarre that it properly belonged to the genre of myth, regardless of its truth-value.

And then it hits me. I feel 25 years of the investment of my mind rumble around in my head. Here’s a guy who actually doesn’t believe it happened. Not really novel. I grew up in the north were Jesus is about as popular as he is in Europe. Unbelief is the norm. Yet for some reason tonight, his response hits me hard.

“Fairy tale,” that’s the category the story of Jesus Christ is allotted for those who believe he didn’t rise from the dead.

Were about 48 inches from each other, across the table in restaurant in Waco they call The Elite Bar and Grill and somehow I feel like our souls are 50 million light years apart.

It’s not judgment. I like the guy…I owe him gratitude. But for the first time in a long time I recognize that amidst a journey plagued with doubt…

”I believe!”


I believe because I encounter unbelief, and am able to recognize the deep existential incongruity between us. “I believe,” and I have my Daniel Quinn political philosophizing friend to thank for it.

I found grace today. I hope he did too.

5 things about Jesus

I’ve been tagged by my friend and theological superior, Emily. I’m not exactly sure how to do all the things required, but I’ll try my best.

I share five things I dig about Jesus (the purpose of this particular tag)…

1. He was seemingly idiosyncratic in his interpretation of the law revealing, I think, the complexity and beauty of life.
2. He told some to sell everything and for others it was o.k. to sell half of what they had and restore from those they had stolen four-fold. To me this means Jesus is neither liberal or conservative, but rather the type of guy who would challenge you exactly the way you needed to be challenged to grow.
3. He was resurrected, which as I get older and experience death through loved ones, becomes more and more the one miracle I need to be absolutely true.
4. He gave people like Pete second chances
5. He in the business of restoring the type of people found in Flannery O’Connor’s short stories.

My tags

1. Craig
2. Candace
3. Ashley
4. Harris
5. Erik

Hope this works out

Carney

Allie Hewson

Driving down the highway or is it the autobahn? She can’t remember and she doesn’t seem to care. “45 years of this shit! When’s it going to end,”… “I just want to be normal tonight, I want to go spend time with my grandchildren,” she thinks to herself.

Still she submits to the highway hypnosis and keeps driving. Eventually she approaches Berlin. “Berlin,”…“I remember how many nights it stole from me,” anger rising within herself, “too many.” I just want to see my grandchildren, she reminds herself. "Enough of this benefit crap. Africa will go on,”…”I wish history would find another hero.”

The city lights become brighter and brighter, but anger has the best of her and she fails to notice. She approaches the first stoplight, but she is unaware. Red….Red….Red…Red…it’s the color of the writing on all those damn t-shirts. Suddenly she awakens…”it’s the color of stop!!!”

“Shit” it’s too late. The only thing that seems redeeming in the moment is her honest thought of recognition of her need of grace…even now. But it is too late.

She pulls up not in the car she was just driving, but rather in the honest nakedness of herself. Suddenly she is confronted. Not by anything, but by someone.

Somehow she recognizes the truth. It’s David Copperfield. How could she possibly know David Copperfield? He was just a character. The stranger reality about this new place is that all epistemological bets are off. They, David and her, have a strange sense of parachoresis and somehow both her and David Copperfield recognize each other.

David speaks…”come try on this well deserved crown.” She is apprehensive, yet slowly she approaches. She bows her head while Coppefield places the crown upon her head. It’s awkwardly heavy at first, but then she finds the strength to lift her head high enough to look David in the face. Then she realizes the irony of the situation. The irony of grace. It’s David’s crown.

“I can’t wear thi”…,but before she can complete the thought she is strangely surprised by her sudden immediate and supernatural strength. Her neck is miraculously strong enough to hold this crown up.

“How?” is the only question to be asked. “How can she hold this crown up?” she wonders, but this same strange sense of parachoresis delivers the answer in an unprecedented way. No words required, just this deep sense of profound understanding. Not just understanding of this is how it is, but understanding that reveals this is exactly how it should be because He has willed it be so from all eternity.

“this can’t be right,” she thinks toward Copperfield. He looks her back in the eye knowing exactly why she is feeling this way. All she spent her time doing was “Chernobyl” she reminds Copperfield. His thoughts come back to her, “But it was not just Chernobyl,”…”it was gracefully standing beside a superstar for 45 years. There’s the real unprecedented strength found uniquely and sparsely throughout human history!” “Because of your patience and your sacrifice, my kingdom found it’s way into the 21st C.”

Recognizing her feeling of ineptitude Copperfield escorts her into her the realm of her company. Company…a metaphor seems to be the only thing left powerful enough in the world of epistemology to make sense of all this. There she sees them. James son of Alphaeus, Thaddaeus, Bartholomew, Itzhak Stern, Scottie Pippin, Sam Gamgee, and the boy who shined shoes in all those redemptive novels.

Below her she sees Peter, Paul and Mary. Above her she sees only the glory, but the propensity to judge and compare is gone. It has no place here. All is equal under the shadow of the almighty.

Reflections on Fathers Day

The Bible carefully offers us metaphors from time to time. Two of them are relational. They are Christ’s relationship to the church described in terms of Bride/Bridegroom and God’s relationship to Jesus as Father/Son.

I really hated Song of Solomon when I was growing up. Especially when girls in our youth group talked about being enamored by belonging to the groom. “Gag me” I thought to myself. Not only do I hate romance, but now the Bible is asking me to participate in this metaphorical relationship from the sappy/estrogen side.

Eventually I got married and this metaphor came alive for me. I was able to move beyond the literal level of the metaphor and move into an understanding of a wee bit deeper existential profoundness.

As for the other metaphor, well I guess I’m qualified to throw my noetic lot in the realm of comprehension on the Father/Son metaphor. As I was trying to fall asleep last night I was pondering this one. As my first fathers day came to a close I realized just how different God and I are. He sent His son to bear the sins of the world. I silently confessed to myself that I'd send the whole world to hell before I’d let my son be crucified unjustly.

Grace for now


Roy's present for me.


Roy and I in matching C.S. Lewis outfits. Nerdy professor cardigan, khakis, and a t-shirt. Notice our favorite Lewis works.

We've all done it. "God I really need to hear from you." So we crack open the Bible flipping through, hoping that the place where we end up is magically going to be a "word from the Lord."

My experience tells me that God in His freedom won't be manipulated by such tasks. Rather I think that He prefers that I get to know what is actually in the Bible and drawing from a wealth of knowledge that I've stored away through years of hard study, the Holy Spirit can then take something and bring it to remembrance in difficult times or good times.

I am old fashioned enough to believe that this works. Last night was one of those wrestles nights for me. Thus I woke up early and paged through my Bible and was impressed upon by lengthy Psalm 131.

The second verse seems especially alive to me.

1 O Lord, my heart is not lifted up,
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvellous for me.
2 But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.*


3 O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time on and for evermore.

grace for now

on prayer

I think one of the most perplexing things for us to try and figure out is prayer. What really makes a difference? Does our praying change things?

Often I find myself praying for superficial things. Our evening prayer before meals is routine, not because we pray the Lord’s prayer, but because our requests seem to remain constant. Thankfulness, Roy’s health, our health, our family’s health, our friends. Requests, Sam Evans, the two kids from Lindsay’s school. Gratefulness, my dad is cancer free.

Here is my ridiculousness. Since Tom’s bachelor party last Thursday I’ve been informed of a thing on mlb.com called beat the streak. Joe DiMaggio consecutively got a hit in 56 games back in some year that I don’t know off hand. If I, as a participant can correctly select one player from MLB to get a hit for 57 nights in a row, I will have beat the streak and will be awarded $100,000 by mlb.com.

Every night I open the gameday window of the team for whom my player plays for and watch. During the day I tell my wife whom I’ve picked and half jokingly/half seriously tell her who we are praying for to get a hit.

I’m tempted to think prayer works. Especially the prayer that goes something like “God please provide for all of our needs.” And if I’m honest, all the wants that American advertising has convinced me that are needs.

I think it is really noble and theologically right to thank God for all I have, but here is my predicament. I know plenty of Christians in Africa who don’t seem to get all of their needs provided for. Does God forget about them? Did God forget about Dietrich Bonhoeffer while remembering sparrows elsewhere, or did Bonhoeffer’s prayer get answered?

Grace for now

Survey Says

Inspired by our friends the Shelton's, I decided to post this question. Who do you think Roy looks more like? won't be offended by the results.

Caught

So this morning I was in my bedroom making the bed and I kept hearing this racket coming from the living room. I made my way out there and Roy tried to put his bottle on the table and with the other hand he quickly tried to put a Phillips screwdriver behind his back to hide it.

I asked him what he was doing with a screwdriver and he responded gleefully, "I'm going to shotgun this one dad!"

Kids these days.

pirates 3

This is not a movie review, because I’m a horrible critic. There isn’t much I see that I don’t enjoy. Especially films like Pirates 3. It would have taken an awful movie to get me to say I didn’t like it.

Call me overly evangelical, but I have this belief that as far as our culture tries to run from religion, the impact of the Bible and it’s themes on our culture are inescapable. Sometimes this seems a bit more intentional in movies like the Matrix which sought to simply communicate world thought.

Other times movies accidentally stumble onto theological themes. If you haven’t seen the movie and care about everything being a surprise then stop reading.

Here are two quick ones I noticed.

When Will’s dad “Bootstrap Bill” is freed by Will from his debt, he replies that he will stay with Will to endure his newly acquired task. (Rom 6:18)

Here another one. When they are returning from initially saving Jack from the world end, they pass from death to life through water.

But far and away the most interesting one to me was the scene where Jack is stranded at the worlds end with all the other Jack Sparrow’s. I suppose I have a special interests in doctrines about heaven, hell, soteriology, and post-mortem existence, hence my interest in this scene.

As many of you know one of my favorite books is C.S. Lewis’s The Great Divorce. I think Lewis gets a lot right including the way he presents salvation having to do with nature of one’s character’s initial encounter with the presence of God.

As good as C.S. Lewis is, his book is fiction as his introduction emphatically suggests not be systematized into our theologies. Someone who puts theological language to the direction Lewis is going is Greg Boyd in his chapter on Karl Barth’s das Nichtege and his subsequent understanding of hell. Boyd, who wants to avoid annihilationism proposes that we understand damned beings as eternally existing ontologically only unto themselves. Thus they have a place in eternity, but not a place in heaven.

I felt like that’s what this scene in the movie communicated. Sparrow, got his final wish at the world end. Himself as the only reality (Lewis’s neighborhoods moving further and further apart from one another). Here’s something else I thought was interesting. The real genius in the depiction of Sparrow was the actual Sparrow was the one who was barking orders out to all the other Sparrows and selfishly eating the last peanut. Thus, not the one who suffers the loss of something, but the loss of giving to someone and overcoming the problem of self.

security???

A quick thought before I go to bed.

You computer savvy people might be able to answer this. What is the deal with the squiggly letters that appear below the login name and password boxes when you want to sign into something. You know, the ones that I suppose are a sort of security device or something and usually read something like "vks89l" only in wavy, crazy font.

If this is a security deal, it seems like a poor one and a discriminant one at that. Who is it really keeping out besides the color blind and or those in need of bifocals?

looking for some intelligent responses

a tired Carney

Shane Part 5 (the problem with me)

For my last Shane post I really wanted to share about his demonic encounter. I believe we have lost a lot in the West when it comes to understanding the metaphysical, but I’m going to read God at War by Greg Boyd for my mentoring this summer, so maybe I’ll pipe in about it then.

Instead you get something that is mildly entertaining and after I post will either leave me on an island of embarrassment or I will get a lot of silent and honest nods of understanding form y’all as y’all read this.

So I first heard about Shane’s book a year ago from friend John, who I affectionately refer to as “The Machine” on the side of my blog in the “ubc folk” link section. As John told me about the book I thought to myself, “oh yeah, another social justice, I’m bad for being a White Western American book.”

I didn’t hear much about the book until this last fall when Shane came and spoke. At our Upsilon Beta Chi meeting Shane’s name came up and someone, I think Paola said, he didn’t really say anything in his talk, (or I think in his videos either) that she hadn’t already heard. I only mention this moment because I think it was at this juncture that I officially filed Shane’s book in my head as mediocre. All that for this story.

So a girl that I worked on staff with back at Bethel as a resident assistant made her way down to Texas during our spring break. They got here the first Saturday of the break and we met them at the World Cup Café for lunch. Jimmy Dorrell had just spoken to a group of her and her friends a couple weeks prior in MN. So she decided to stop by Waco to see what was happening.

We shared about what we knew about Mission Waco and the area. She talked about living in the ghetto in Minneapolis, and I talked about living in the ghetto on 14th street. We were having a good time being social progressives. At some point church came up. Of course this was one area I knew I could one up her in. No matter how cool you are there is no way your church is going to be cooler than ours for goodness sake. We have Dave freakin Crowder as our Rock n’ Roll pastor. So naturally the, “what do you read to substantiate your ideology” question came up.

I proudly told her some of the names that came and spoke to us. At this point she asked me if I had read anything by some people that were thinking about things differently, like Rob Bell and Shane Claiborne. “Wait a minute,” I thought to myself, “you can’t know our people, that would put us on the same page.” So I replied, “we’re actually a little post-that.”

She replied, “well, like who are some of the people you guys are into.”

Caught. I had to think of something, so I reached for a couple of names from academia that mildly addressed some of the things we think about at UBC and yet would be esoteric enough that she wouldn’t know who they were. In response I would only get the desired, “Oh,” from her.

Why do I do that? That is retarded. I guess since Craig admitted an insecurity of his own his blog I can follow suit.

P.S. if by some chance Laura you read this, I owe you an apology. We are not, well at least I am not post-Shane Claiborne and I found the book to be very helpful.

Grace for now, especially for me.

Shane part 4 (economics in the eschatological vision)

I used to think that heaven was about my spirit/soul joining Jesus somewhere in outer space and that everyone would be raptured out of here at the same time. Once we got to heaven there would be something like the Matrix’s version downloading information. We would all know and love God, because God would just bring everyone onto the same page so to speak. There would be no epistemic difference among any of us and we would all spend time worshiping God, with music of course, on our streets of gold occasionally taking time to go into our individually prepared mansions.

I think one of the most exciting chapters in the book is on finances or rather economics. Shane shares a story about a family that owned Josefina Minimart across the street from them. He shares that their kids would come over to do homework, to do their theatre camp and to wipe the floor with them in UNO. Shane and his gang helped rehab this family’s house and they taught Shane’s gang Spanish. Oftentimes this family would need transportation to either restock their shelves or to pick up kids from school and other places. Shane and friends gladly provided these services. They also found out that they could insure their kids under their policy at no extra charge, so they did that too.

They share cars. The family stopped taking money from them for groceries. And at the end of the paragraph Shane writes something great “money has lost its relevance.”

I used to think it might be cool to try and write a paper about kingdom economics. Here’s one thing that Shane’s story makes me think about. As N.T. Wright has shown me numerous times, there is a great deal of continuity between now and the Eschaton. So though we will be resurrected in glorified bodies, they will still reflect the human body in some sense. And though there will be a new earth, it will still reflect the beauty of this earth. Hence the importance on the Irenaic/Wright et. all theme of restoration and why Clark Pinnock argues, and I think rightly, that the same power behind creation is the one behind redemption.

All that to say if there is a good deal of continuity like Wright argues, I wonder if certain anthropological functions might also hang around in the eschatological vision. It would seem absurd for someone to be hungry in the kingdom, but I wonder if there won’t be something like the need to share as is shown above?

If so it strikes me that Shane really has found heaven on earth and given meaning to the already/not yet concept.

Shane part 3 (love and peace)

Maybe the most impressive thing Shane does is go to Iraq and live with the families as the country is about to be bombed. As you might guess he is a pacifist. It's not that Shane hates the military in fact he shares several stories about how convicted soldiers found a way to live the kingdom within the military. But he indisputably hates war or perhaps I would do him more justice if I said he loves peace.

Shane operates with a hermeneutic that says "love your enemies" is a literal love your enemies, and "blessed are the peacemakers" is a literal blessed are the peacemakers. And "take up your cross and follow me" is not about suffering through your white collar job for the chance to share Jesus, it is stand with the oppressed and in the process be ready to die for it.

Here are my struggles. I like a lot of people feel like I would like to whole heartedly embrace pacifism, but I bet like a lot of people draw the line somewhere along these lines. If I were a single guy, like Shane, Jesus, and Paul, I might be more o.k. with going and dying with the oppressed, but the truth is that I'm not and when I think about dying for Jesus I think about the agony that would put my wife and perhaps someday, child through. Maybe this is another chance for me to offer an excuse, if so you can pray for me. And unlike Shane if someone broke into my house I would hit them in the legs with a baseball bat to protect my wife and child.

Here is another thing that puzzles me about the faith. I struggle with a pair of motifs that seem to run through this faith we call Christianity. On the one hand there is the above motif that recognizes all the ugliness in the world and says go stand with the poor and oppressed and know that if it cost you everything, the God of the resurrection will vindicate you. On the other hand we have what I like to refer to as the Kyle Lake motif. It is the motif that says love God, embrace beauty and live life to the fullest. It recognizes that there is so much that is beautiful about life and challenges you to live every minute of it to the fullest.

Now let me anticipate a response from Shane. He has never seen so much beauty, lived so fully, and loved God so deeply as he has in Calcutta, Iraq, and on the streets of Philadelphia. I'm not denying that he is right. But I love my son, I love mountain biking, I find God in the beauty of scenic things like the Rockies, and I most certainly find God in the serene lakes in Northern Wisconsin on a beautiful evening.

All these things are far removed both fiscally and geographically from the world of Shane. So if I want to take my following Jesus as seriously as Shane, what do i do with this motif?

Grace for now.